Posts tagged sadness

She was not to be blamed.

It was all but a blur, that cold winter day.

As she walked down the path.

Unaware of the misfortune ahead. 

It was not her to blame,

it was not her to blame.

How was it to be known?

What awaited her… 

Deep in the woods we peer… 

looking for her.

The years go by…

but not a sign. 

He sits and waits,

waits, 

and waits. 

No bones. 

No clues.

No love.

The blame is gone.

The case closed.

The blame fades away…

Soon the trees open,

the grass spreads,

the flowers bloom,

and there she lies

in a bed of love 

Forever .

I gave you life in a time when you wished of none. 

I gave you strength in your moments of weakness.

I gave you hopes and dreams far beyond what

You’d imagined for yourself. 

I gave you love,tenderness,sweet kisses.

I was pure to you.

I was yours.

But…

In return of all of this 

You gave me pain.

You gave me sin.

You gave me hate.

I got nothing.

Sadness.

Loneliness.

Sin.

Betrayal.  

Hate.

Nothing but heart ache.

I can only imagine what it would be like. Just as I type this, I can see it in my mind; Coldness throughout the room, music sheets, old pizza boxes, and a guitar- all scattered around the room. The smell of old socks, old food, and fresh wild flowers fills the room. I can imagine you sitting on the floor all cross legged with your guitar in one hand while pitching a tune with the other, then asking me if it would work and I would simply reply with a modest grin. The room would be immersed with music while old vintage curtains sway near the open window. You would leave the french doors open so the stray cat can keep warm from the harsh winter cold. You’d sit up against the wall after your legs went numb and Peel the old paint off the wall; Thinking of another tune or lyric to make me grin again.

if only…..

I don’t know who you are

But I know you need my help

I wish I wasn’t so far so I could embrace you

I know all you want is what is impossible

I know what you fear can not be destroyed

I hope one day

You want will become nothing more than reality

But you lurk in the shadows with no help

I wish you were here

Near and with no fear

To guide me

 For I am the one who truly needs the help

-Elizakc (me)

She was tormented, by her past. Every breath she took reminded her of that evil once close to her. She desists from it all in hopes that it would soon abate. It persists to linger behind her. Everywhere she goes a sweet silence follows. She wonder’s why so much temptation to be around defectiveness. Perhaps part of the explanation is due to a blunder she ended up feeling this way. She wrote; “everything happens for a reason”. She looks like a robot. No she is one, Emotionless and careless like one. Don’t move it’s painless. That’s what they all say and to be frank it’s perfect. What sums you up as a person; blithe no far from apoplectic. It’s in the vast middle to be candid. She lives with insecurities far to great to vanquish. She’s being drained. Perhaps she is climbing the walls of insanity or riding the waves of despair. If she falls it won’t matter. There is no one around to care. Watching freedom is painful. Strength is questionable and weakness expectable.

elizakc